Thursday, January 27, 2011


Directed by Jimmy Hayward
Starring Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Megan Fox, Michael Fassbender, Will Arnett, Wes Bentley, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Rance Howard, Michael Shannon, Tom Wopat, Aidan Quinn

I'd heard from everywhere what a horrible piece of shit Jonah Hex was and thus it was almost impossible to go into this film without any expectations. As it turns out, this wasn't the Wild Wild West (1999) I expected it to be and here also lies one of my pet peeves.

 Jonah Hex (Brolin) is a bounty hunter with a warrant on his own head and he seeks revenge on his archenemy Turnbull (Malkovich) who is responsible for the murder of Hex' family. Now Turnbull is in possession of a modernised weapon with which he is going after the whole of mankind and Hex is recruited by the President of The United States to stop him in exchange for a full pardon.

 Back to my pet peeve. Every time a film is singled out by the internet trash talkers, it seems they do so without any real objective input and I'll bet my dashing good looks that also often without actually seeing the fucking thing. Hey, because everyone else is saying it, they don't wanna be singled out for going "umm, shouldn't we see the film first and not judge it only by the previous work of an actor or the director involved?". Sure, I might have had negative expectations based on the same criteria, but where these dicks blindly judge the work all the way, I've stayed ready for a positive surprise and most importantly, I've had the balls to admit when I was wrong. I hate those douchebags and only really have one thing to say to such assholes: grow up. I strongly believe this to be the case when discussing about Jonah Hex. Look, the film clearly has it's flaws. Malkovich is bored all the way and does only his routine, phoned-in baddie thing while the excessively modernized gimmicks still do not fit to the western setting at all. You'd think they would've learned that from previously mentioned Wild Wild West but I guess not. Still, at the end of the day, Brolin isn't bad as the titular antihero and while Fox does her usual flirt with the camera she doesn't come even close to being the worst leading actress of the year as the recently announced Razzie-nominations would lead you to believe. Jonah Hex is as basic as action films come but is it as bad as the hype around it? Hell no. Uninspired at times but far from the worst picture of the year.

Mistään mestariteoksesta ei Jonah Hexin tapauksessa voi puhua, mutta ottaen huomioon että leffa floppasi lippuluukuilla ja tuomittiin melko sokeasti netissä jo ennen julkaisuaan, on se silti ihan pirteä perus krapulaleffa. Brolin vetää nimikkoroolin kivasti läpi. Mikä helvetti muuten saa aina liikkeelle nuo saatanan roskasäkit, jotka arvostelevat rinta rottingilla leffat ennen kuin ovat edes nähneet niitä?! Vastaus on ärsyttävän yksinkertainen: heillä ei ole mitään elämää ja kaatavat sen turhautumisen nettiin haukkumalla näyttelijöitä ja ohjaajia usein ilman minkäänlaista objektiivista näkemystä, käyttäen pelkkää sokeaa dissausta joka perustuu korkeintaan tekijöiden aiempiin töihin. Turhuuksien roviot palavat kun nuo mäntit pääsevät näppiksen ääreen.

Jonah Hex at IMDb