Sunday, October 10, 2010


Directed by Roger Kumble
Starring Cameron Diaz, Christina Applegate, Selma Blair, Thomas Jane, Jason Bateman, Parker Posey, Frank Grillo

Geez, where do I even begin?! It's obvious that this piece of shit was made to be the chick version of American Pie. In the Making Of reel the main female cast goes on about how great it was that for once someone put on paper how women really think and act. I don't know whether to panic right now or two seconds ago because these characters are fucking annoying idiots. Please, let this not be an accurate depiction of the female psyche!

 Christina (Diaz), Courtney (Applegate) and Jane (Blair) are best friends who love to go out, have drinks, party and pick up men. Christina bumps into Peter (Jane) and spends the rest of the movie pining for that cute guy she missed out on. Courtney really has no story and Jane hangs out with a hunk with a big cock which gets stuck in her throat. Funny? Nay.

 These kinds of women tend to overanalyze everything related to the men in their lives. Analyze them to death I mean. "Well should I call him or will I seem too eager if I call him? Why hasn't he called me? You think he'll call me? How long should I wait till I call him..?" SHUT THE FUCK UP! Relationships are not that complicated. They only seem to be if you always magnify every little meaningless detail. It doesn't mean shit if he called you now insted an hour from now. At one point Christina blurps out "I'm so tired of the game" which brings us neatly on to the next point I've always had a problem with: the phrase don't hate the player, hate the game. That has got to be the most dumbass, vainest, idiotic line ever uttered. How are we supposed to not hate "the players" (which in itself is a very self-flattering, brainless term) when they're usually superficial, egomaniacal, shallow pieces of shit who only use that said phrase to excuse their rotten core and who only care about a favorable outcome for their little dicks. Literally. I say fuck the players right up their bling bling asses and hate them as much if not MORE than the fucking game!

 The Sweetest Thing is a horrible mistake. Maybe it really is the case that we guys are immature idiots and expect you girls to be the mature ones and roll your eyes everytime we fuck something up. If that is the case then it's easy to point out why this film is such a piece of bat shit. I don't think it's that complicated however. The bottom line is that the script is terrible with it's bad and overly stupid dialogue and LAME jokes. The cast makes it even worse with the exception of Jason Bateman who has the only few amusing moments. Director Kumble (Cruel Intentions, College Road Trip) has boldly shown me the limit of tolerance when it comes to bad comedy. For that I guess I'll thank him. But enough about the greatest abomination to the history of cinema, The Penis Song..

The Sweetest Thing eli suomalaisittain Radalla on jotain hirveintä ja epähauskinta paskaa mitä Hollywoodin "luvattu" maa on koskaan kehittänyt. Vahvoissa naisissa ei ole mitään vikaa, mutta nämä bilehileet ovat vain ärsyttäviä, typeriä ääliöitä. En keksi mitään säälittävämpää tai surullisempaa kuin tällaiset ikääntyvät bilepissikset. Antakaa jo olla ja kasvakaa aikuisiksi. Leffassa mennään pitkälti myös "älä vihaa pelaajaa, vihaa peliä"-mentaliteetin mukaan, mikä on idioottimaisin fraasi jonka olen aikoihin kuullut. Kysympä vain kuinka voin olla vihaamatta "pelaajaa" (joka jo itsessään on itsekehuskeleva bling bling fraasi), kun he usein ovat itsekeskeisiä, egomaanisia tolloja, jotka vain naamioivat mädäntyneen ytimensä moisten onttojen iskulauseiden taakse?! Minä kehoitan vihaamaan "pleijeriä" yhtä paljon ellei ENEMMÄN kuin sitä perkeleen peliä. Ja sitten on vielä se miltei kestämätöntä myötähäpeää synnyttävä Penislaulu..

The Sweetest Thing at IMDb


Danielle said...

bahaha. Dead on balls accurate, shit movie. "...fuck the players right up their bling bling asses."--Very nice :)